Anyone For (Table) Tennis...?

The plan to get down to the Vietnamese embassy in Bangkok first thing had gone out of the window so we needed an early start to the day to make sure we got it done and the process started. We were allowed a small breakfast of toast and coffee, and set off to the nearby metro station with a spring in our step. The location of the hotel wasn’t really ideal as we would need to change metro lines just to get anywhere we wanted to go, but they were cheaper, cooler and much less of a death-trap than the nippy little tuk-tuks.

The idea was to get to the Vietnamese embassy first and then hit the India and Chinese embassies afterwards to ask about the best way of obtaining those visas. But then we realised that to get into the other embassies we may actually need our passport, so we headed to the Chinese embassy first. It was a pain in the backside to find and when we did we found a steady stream of people trying to push their way into the building with numerous pieces of paper and envelopes in their clutches. We couldn’t get in and the two guards on the door were little help so we went to find the Indian embassy.

As it was lunch, the embassy was closed so we grabbed a bite to eat and played some cards to pass the time. By this time it had started hoying it down outside, so we waited it out and then found the second of our embassies, after being told it was on a road parallel to the one the map said it was on. We didn’t get in, but the two women who were coming back from their lunch advised us to go to the other building some way away from the embassy. So that was 0 out of 2 so far and we hoped that we would have more luck with the last, and most important, one.

The food court where we sheltered from the rain

Luckily, this embassy was easy to find, although we were thoroughly drenched from the second downpour of the day. Once inside we grabbed the visa application form, scribbled out our details and attached rather dodgy looking photographs with the communal pritt-stick. After handing over 1800 Baht our task was complete and we would be able to pick them up in a few days time. It was still heaving down outside so we made our way back to the hotel as quickly ass possible to dry out before the evenings entertainment.

The document that caused all the trouble

Most people who go to Bangkok will probably end up, at some point, down Khao San Road, the incredibly boisterous and touristy area in the north of the city. We had arrived there by taxi and were greeted by the sight of an elderly Thai woman relieving herself into a box by the side of the road. So this was Bangkok. We quickly moved on and selected a busy restaurant for dinner. The seats were more like couches and there was a massive statue at the back, and the food was cracking too. Although I still take umbrage to only being given chopsticks once so far in Asia. A couple of Changs went down a treat and we were ready to begin our “Bangkok Experience”. It actually seemed quite tame though, as we have both been to Amsterdam and Las Vegas, and this place didn’t compare at all. Not at all what we had heard about from other travellers and forums. So we ended up briefly browsing through a market before settling in for another large Chang in a nearby restaurant/bar as they were showing football highlights .They were showing the Liverpool vs Stoke game and being ardent Reds supporters we were making comments and discussing why we were not winning games anymore. A chirpy American accent headed our way, “who are you guys supporting?” was the question, and from that point on Sam Koekkoek was involved in our evening.

Enjoying an ice-cold Chang

We chatted for a good while whilst finishing our beers and then departed for the real Khao San Road as we had been on the one adjacent to it – no wonder it seemed tame! We walked down the bustling road with shouts of “you wanna see ping pong show” and “taxi taxi” coming from left, right and centre. We grabbed three small Leo’s from a street vendor, and we realied that pretty much everything is negotiable, with Sam driving a hard, and good, bargain with the woman. We all hadthe curiosity of what ecatly would happen at a ping pong show, and we weren’t keen on seeing anything with the things Bangkok is famous for, so we haggled away with everyone offering tickets and got the best price possible. With three of us we were a deadly combination and I can guarantee that nobody got a better deal than we did.

Khao San Road...apparently

Leo was our tuk-tuk driver and we jumped in the back so he could take us to where the entertainment would be, as it was not in the local area. Fair enough we thought, and I think we were all al ittle excited to get in the back of a tuk-tuk and see what the little devils were capable of. It turns out that they are very nippy, as well as loud. We sped through the streets of Bangkok having no real idea where we were actually going, and it took a long time. It seemed about 10-15 minutes before we were let out and ushered into a plain-looking building to pay for our tickets. We had negotiated 300 Baht with Leo but the guy running things on the door was asking for 400. We vehemently explained that we were only to pay 300 as per Leo, and the guy turned a little nasty as he led us outside. I was almost fearing for our safety at that point as we had no idea where we were and there were a few shifty characters hanging around. But he just didn’t want us shouting out that we had paid at least 100 Baht less than any of the other suckers that had shown up. A fair point.

Once inside we grabbed our small free beer and watched the show. I won’t go into details, but it wasn’t the kind of ping pong where you get to return serve. Once the show was over we found Leo outside and clambered back into his tuk-tuk. We arrived back into civilisation after another daring blitz through the Bangkok traffic, and the torrential rain I may just add. We were dropping Sam off at his hostel and decided we should get one last large Chang in before we called it a night. It seemed like a pretty decent place he had there and I believe that he retired at around 3:15am for me and James to try and get a taxi back. The rain had been pouring down since we had left the show and didn’t look like stopping at any point soon. To get to a taxi rank meant a brave dash along some “pavements” and shop fronts to get near the main road. We went for it.

James, Sam and Tim, in Sam's hostel bar...

At full speed I skipped over plant pots, stray dogs and rubbish, all in my (used to be “very”) white plimsolls. Light and nimble they are good for speed. With a flat sole, however, they are not good for traction. As I leapt onto a white marble floor I instantly aqua-planed and my feet went shooting out in front of me. My responses were slow, due to the numerous 6.4% Changs and Leos we had consumed earlier in the night, and I didn’t get the chance to steady myself. My right arm stretched down to cushion the blow, but it was my elbow that came crashing down before palm of hand. At the same time the back of my head made contact with the white marble that lay beneath my falling body. It hurt. And I was now very wet. The next thing I know, James is picking me up off the floor and we have made it to a safe(ish) vantage point. A few minutes later we have managed to hail a cab and negotiate a good price to get back to our hotel.

There are many morals of this story, but I think the main one is: Never run down the streets of Bangkok in plimsolls when it is pouring with rain and you have been on the strong beers all night.